quite a few years ago, I was in church and heard a sermon about this verse:
“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6
As a parent, I don’t know what could be more comforting. A promise from God that if we guide/train up (love, discipline, encourage, correct, teach) our children, when they are old, they won’t depart from it. The scary part is that they may fall away or rebel for a time. The sermon I heard just kept going back to trusting the promise. Which is so hard to do when you have a rebellious teenager or even adult child. Nothing breaks my heart more than a brokenhearted parent. Recently, there was a tragic accident locally and as the young driver (who has been charged with drunk driving, causing the accident) was interviewed, his brokenhearted parents were seated behind him, crying and obviously distraught…my heart broke for them. He was a good kid, intelligent, with so much going for him…yet he made a really bad choice that will have long term consequences. We do our best as parents and even though we make mistakes, we pray that our best efforts will rise above our failures. I hate when it doesn’t work out that way.
I just have to believe that even when terrible tragic events happen, something good will come of it eventually. I know that God can use anything for His good, if we love Him. This morning I read this:
“Blessed is that life which is so thoroughly rooted down into the life of God that it can feel and know that, though time moves slowly in long-drawn-out tests and trials, God’s tides move steadily on in accomplishing His glorious purposes”. Quests and Conquests
Trust. One of the most difficult things to do in the midst of heartbreak. But if our heartbreak and trials are related to our children’s choices, what a comfort that verse in Proverbs is! It is something to cling to when everything seems hopeless!
I feel compelled to make it perfectly clear that I am not writing this in regard to my own children! I am humbled that they rose above my failures and are making good choices and living good lives, and love me and treat me with respect. What a blessing. I don’t take it for granted. There are parents who did a much better job than I did and they are suffering because of the rebellion or bad choices of their children. No matter how old our children are, they are still our children. (How often have I written that?) I just have a huge heart for people who are going through tough times with their children no matter the age of the children.
Here’s the thing I don’t fully understand: As an adult, why not forgive your parents, if they “did you wrong”? Why hold a grudge and perpetuate the ugliness? I’m not insensitive to abuse or neglect…I just don’t see how hanging onto hate and blame helps anything? And if you were mistreated, forgiving your parents certainly doesn’t make what they did alright. I just wouldn’t want it to hold me back. I think it makes my life better to treat my parents with love and respect. None of us knows what the future holds, but I do know that things can change in a heartbeat and then you can’t go back and fix it. I have a friend who did not have a good childhood, but she treats her mom really well….takes her to doctor’s appointments, to lunch, shopping (and she pays!) and I truly respect her for that. I know it’s not easy.
Here’s another thought: I believe we reap what we sow, so if that’s the case, how do adults who disrespect their parents, not have it cross their minds that their own children might do the same to them? Some call it karma.
This whole line of thinking may be a little too close to my heart right now. My heart is breaking for a family I love so very much. They are going through a very tough time and I just want to encourage them and let them know that I love them and that I am clinging to the verse in Proverbs for them. Praying it every time they come to my mind.
How do I post photos after such a heavy topic? I don’t know, but I know that if I don’t, I will be even more behind on sharing my awesome clients peeks : )
I met Nancy quite a few years ago through paper crafting and scrapbooking. I don’t think she does much scrapbooking per se anymore, but she is a rockstar of altered art and paper crafts! I recently did a session with her for a headshot she needs for a really cool craft gig:
We had a good time, chatting and catching up. She has a really cool new craft gig with Donna Downey.
So a few weeks later, we met up again for a family session-
She looks so much like her big sister did when I took their photos a couple of years ago!
I hope everyone has a great weekend!